


Easy for you

by kiimigi



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Apocalypse, haru has OCD??, not a zombie apocalypse though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 06:04:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14158398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiimigi/pseuds/kiimigi
Summary: Easy for you to say when you haven't seen what I've seenEasy for you to forget when you were so distantI just want it to be easy for youA virus has ripped its way through the world, ending everything as they know it. After struggling for so long Haru may have just found a semblance of peace in the form of his two companions. But the scars in his mind remain a constant warning of what could happen and he'd do anything to protect them.





	Easy for you

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: I originally didn't write this as a fic, but it sort of fit the characters so I changed the names and pronouns and Boom! I have myself a fic. So sorry if they're a bit OOC because of that. 
> 
> But this concept was born because I've been kind of tired of the human vs. human conflict taking over the apocalypse genre. I kinda think that the end of the world would be kind boring if you think about it haha also there can be also be other mental conflicts that could happen.

Haru wakes up slowly, his eyes opening and closing as he clung to the last fragments of his dreams. He shivered, his thin sleeping bag doing very little to keep the cold at bay no matter how much he wrapped himself up into a burrito. Groaning, he finally willed himself to give the last push and actually get up. He rolled onto his side, pawing at the space next to him. His eyes snapping open when he felt nothing. The sleeping bag next to him was empty and cold. He sat up, rubbing the drowsiness from his face. Where were they?

He slipped on his sneakers, not bothering to put socks on and crawled out of his tent.

Home was a tent nestled like a colourful turtle nesting in between the trees. Yellow leaves flutter and spin to the ground, covering the ground in a layer of golds and browns. The camp was usually filled with noise. The noise of living as his two companions went about their day, especially Rin, who was never shy about making his presence known. Now it was quiet, too quiet.

Haru felt his paranoia starting boil in his chest and he tried his best not to let it get out of control. He made a loose circle around himself. Nothing. He took a short breath to steady himself before tugging on his jacket, wrapping it around himself and making his way up the familiar path. There were only so many places they could be. He told himself. No point getting worked up this early in the morning.

Despite his jacket, Haru still felt the chill. The forest was fuzzy with the last of the morning fog still lingering. A sudden twig snap jolted Haru to a stop, his heart beat jumping from zero to a hundred in a second as his entire body went rigid like a deer perking up scenting for a hunter.

“Yo, Haru” Rin appeared from behind a tree, his fiery red hair standing out and complementing the autumn weather. Haru narrowed his eyes at Rin, who just laughed, “I didn’t actually scared you, did I?”

Haru frowned and turned away “What do you doing out here anyway? And where’s Makoto?”

“He’s doing the laundry at the pond”

“He’s there alone?” His voice sharper than he wanted it to be.

Rin snorted “He’s a big boy, he can handle himself” Haru’s frown deepened “Relax, Haru. Nothing’s going to happen. Nothing ever happens around here. Besides, some of us had to get the chores done, sleeping beauty.”

“Were you actually worried?” Rin snorted like he thinks he’s actually being funny. But reading Haru’s expression, his face softened for a second as he finally understood. For some reason it grated him. Then Rin’s smile was back and he smacked Haru on the back “Come on, I’m going to get breakfast started” Rin said, pushing past Haru. He took a few steps before glancing over his shoulder “You coming?”

Haru looked down the path, towards where the pond and Makoto was. He didn’t like the idea of Makoto being there alone, but again he buried his worry deep again. It’s alright. This wasn’t the city. He just needed to remind himself sometimes. It had been years since the virus outbreak, years since he left the city but still he so easily slipped back into that headspace. That he let the old scar reopen. He turned back to Rin “Yeah I’m coming” he said after one last glance over his shoulder.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Breakfast was little more than warmed up baked beans and rye crackers, but they did have the luxury of some tea, made from the mint leaves Haru had found some time back. They didn’t start eating without Makoto though. Makoto trailed back after a while, a basket of freshly washed laundry in his arms.

“Good morning, you two” Rin waved from his camping stool as he continued to stir the pot. “I see your finally up, Haru” They both it sound like he made it a habit of sleeping in. In fact he was usually the first one up.

“Why didn’t you wake me up? I could have help with the laundry.” Haru said

“I really don’t mind doing it myself. Besides you deserved the rest Haru.” He said, settling in next to Haru. Rin handed them both their breakfast on plastic camping plates and sporks “Bon appetite”

They ate slowly, taking their time with warm conversation and light laughter. Haru let his shoulders slouch and the knot in his back relax as he hummed in agreement to something Rib said. This was something he would never ha e expected when the world ended. Something he didn’t know he yearned for when the world still did exist. He would have never expected how much he could love such a simple action like having someone else cook for you or the light touch when Makoto bumped their knees together, sometimes on accident sometimes not.

After they had cleaning the pots, scrubbing at them until they were spotless, Haru clenched and unclenched his hands, his hands feeling as if his hands hand thousands of ants biting into them, the sensation crawling up his arms. Haru was getting up when Makoto caught his hand.

“Do you need any help, Haru?” Makoto says. Haru can hear him trying to keep his tone light. Haru looked at their joined hands, but the warmth of Makoto’s hand did nothing to lessen the itching. Makoto did always know when it started acting up, somehow.

“No, I can manage” Haru said.

Makoto doesn’t let go of his wrist instead he squeezed his hand tighter, like he’s scared Haru is going to float away.

“Are you sure? You know you don’t have to. Nothing is going to happen if you don’t-“

“Makoto” he can hear the warning in his voice, and Makoto nods stiffly even though he’s still smiling.

“Just tell us if you need any help. We really don’t mind” he said letting Haru’s wrist slip out of his hand.

Haru quickly says a “Thank you” before slipping off.

Their day crawled on slowly, the sun slipping up the sky and filtering in between the trees. They took their own sweet time getting their day started. With not much work to do around the camp Makoto read a book out loud to Rin while Rin’s head rested perpendicular on Makoto’s stomach as his hands wove a net which would hopefully catch them some fish from the pond or maybe even some frogs. Haru found himself checking his equipment. Again.

He sat at the mouth of his tent and unpacked his go-bag, which he always next to his sleeping bag just in case, He laid the contents out neatly on a tarp. His nimble fingers checked every buckle, checked the fraying on ropes, the batteries on flashlights and the sharpness of the blade. He cleaned off even a spec of dirt and even some that wasn’t there.

He tried to ignore the worried looks both Rin and Makoto send his way when they think he isn’t looking. Or how Makoto has asked once too many to help Haru even though he already knew the answer. Because the answer was always the same.

He packs everything back as it was before, exactly as it was before, almost like it hadn’t been changed in the first place. Then he repeated that for the bags he had for Rin and Makoto.

Haru’s movement were compulsive, bordering on obsessive. He made his way around the perimeter of their camp, walking in a set path that he walked every day, checking the cans he had strung up around the perimeter as a crude alarm system. He counted their stores of food then recounted them. Just like he had the day before and the day before that and the day before that and the day-.He clung to his routine, clinging to even the smallest reassurance that everything was as it should be. Only after that, would his body stop itching, would stop his mind from itching, imaging ever single worst case scenario. For a time.

Of course, Rin and Makoto had offered to help him at first, before they knew that the answer would always be no. It’s not that he doesn’t trust them- he trusts them with with his life- but he couldn’t stop that nagging feeling at the bottom of his gut screaming that something bad is going to happen unless he was the one going over his rituals. There was once he had tried letting them help but Rin got irritated when Haru couldn’t stop micromanaging him. The fight that it had sparked was legendary.

Haru replaced the can. They’re last supply run had been some time ago but if they rationed it out it should last them to the end of the month, into beginning of the next if they were good. The season was finally tipping and if this morning was any indicator, they would be need to get more blankets or they would be huddling for warmth more and more.

Still he the thought of going back into town sent a chill down his spine.

It hadn’t always been like this. There had been a time when Haru had been alone. When the virus had ripped itself across the country then the world, then when the cities had ripped themselves apart buckling under the stress, he had been all alone. It was only much later, and by pure coincidence that he had run into Rin and Makoto. By then he was already too much inside himself to fully trust them. But slowly, tenderly, they eased away the defensive layers Haru had built up in order to survive. Now he couldn’t even imagine what he would be doing without them. He glanced up the path again where Rin and Makoto had disappeared sometime ago. He itched to see them the way his hands itched to count cans.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The-their-pond was a short walk from away from camp. It could only be accessed by climbing through some rocks which hid it away from the rest of the world. The pond itself wasn’t very big, with a good throw it just big enough that you could throw a rock and it would land of the other side. He knows this because Rin had somehow convinced him and Makoto to spend an perfectly good afternoon throwing rocks across the pond. Rocks surrounded the pond, high enough that you could jump from it without any risk but also enough to add a barrier of protection and camouflage.

Makoto and Rin were wading and relaxing in the shallow waters across the pond. The clouds had finally dissolved and the sun was shining proudly in the sky, chasing away most of the chill. This was probably going to be the last nice day their going to have in a long time.

Haru strips out of his cloths until he’s left only in his boxers. He dumps his clothes next to where Makoto and Rin had left their cloths hanging from a tree. He wraps his arms around himself, he’s already shivering. He toes the water and jerks back. He actually has to will himself to wade in, taking micro steps into the water, his body scrunching up because it’s that cold. He had to stop and let himself adjust before he takes a deep breath in and takes the plunge.

His skin is already going numb from the cold, but he kicks some feeling back into his legs and fins underwater. It feels like little hands pressing into his skin, wrapping their arms around him with icy fingers, holding him up. He kicks and even does a few twirls to get used to the sensation. When he finally pops up, he’s already on the other side of the pond.

“Hello, sailor” Rin says bobbing in the water as Haru swims up,

“Hi, Haru” Makoto says, not even questioning it when Haru kolas onto him, trying to leech some of his warmth. The pond is just deep enough that even Makoto couldn’t stand on the bottom, despite that Makoto wraps his arms around him and holds his weight and treads water for both of them.

“Was everything alright?” Makoto asks like he usually does

“Yeah” Haru hums and lets his head rest of Makoto’s shoulder, appreciating Makoto’s genuine concern.

“I see how it is.” Rin huffs “I bet you like Makoto more than me”

“He’s hotter than you”

Rin gasps like he’s genuinely insulted and he says “I guess Makoto can cook from now on too. See if I care if he sets fire to the entire forest.”

“Now, Now, it’s such a nice day so far, don’t go ruining”

“You wouldn’t’ dare” Haru narrows his eyes at Rin, as if Makoto hadn’t said anything. He can hear Makoto sigh

“I would”

Haru send a splash of to wipe that smug look off his face. “Oi!” Rin as he gets a face full of ice water. Rin turns back with a burning competitiveness in his eyes and sharp smile but Haru sees the splash coming and ducks underwater again. He snakes around Makoto’s and Rin’s legs. He can hear his name being called, muffled and distorted by the water but he doesn’t come up until he knows Rin is really starting to sweat.

“Don’t do that?” Rin said when Haru comes up for breath, worry creeping in his voice and sending a small wave his way but Haru dodges it easily.

“Do what? Come up again?”

Rin tsks “You know what I mean. It’s freaky how you can stay down so long.” Rin tries to go for a sneak attack but this time Haru ducks behind Makoto, who’s larger frame protects him.

“Rin!” Makoto squeals, barely being able to bring up his arms to protect himself.

“Oh shit” Rin swears when he’s realized what he’s done. “That not how you play, Haru!. You’re not allowed to use him as meat shield” Makoto glances over his shoulder pouting, his bangs now dripping wet, sharing a silent conversation through his eyes. Haru and Makoto unload a tidal wave upon Rin.  
Beneath the splashes, Rin is squawking undignifiedly “You guys can’t gang up on me! It’s not fair” They only stop when Rin is dripping like a wet dog left out in the rain, his long hair plastered across his face.

“You guys are the worst!” Rin says, dragging his words like a teenage girl.

They wade around their pond for the rest of the afternoon. Haru doing lazy laps up and down the pond, but more often than not he dips under the waterline and stays there. With water in his ears muffling any sound and the water blurring his eyes, it feels like he’s in a different world. He can move and twisted so carelessly in the water in a way you just can’t on land. It’s like none of it matters. If he could he would stay down there for forever if he could. Even now he could feel his lungs burning and protesting, still he doesn’t go up just yet. Then there’s a warm hand on his intertwining with his fingers as if to say come back. He’s pulled to the surface, the sky exploding into view. Sometimes its Rin and sometimes its Makoto who pulled him up, they smile and welcomes Haru back to the world. He just dunks down back into the chilly water to cool his burning face.  
It hadn’t always been like this.

The first few months, first year after leaving the city was a nightmare. Still, it had been better than living in the city, Haru didn’t know why he hadn’t thought of leaving sooner. Haru can still remember when they had raided camping shop early on. While he was grabbing mess tins and fire starters and extra sleeping bags, Rin had been looking at the traps section. Dumping spring lock traps into their trolley, actually looking surprised when Haru had just as quickly dumped them out of it. First they were heavy and secondly none of them even knew how to use them properly. They had been just a bunch of city kids; strangers slammed together by circumstance who between all three of them hadn’t ever camped for more than a week or even how to pitch a tent properly. But the city was quickly becoming unliveable. They just needed to get out, out of city. Away from that bait ball.

But as time passed, they had learnt. They had to if they wanted to survive. So after a lot of hungry nights and close calls they had adjusted and made it work.

However as time passed a new challenge emerged. Time itself. It felt like time had given up too and slowed to a painful crawl. And when the electronics had gone, it was wildly disorienting not knowing exactly what time it was. He remembered when he had been all alone he had spent days just counting seconds in an almost catatonic state.

He still remembered the claustrophobic mask he wore. His own hot breathe suffocating him as he ran through burning streets. Even when he started feeling the pointlessness of it all, each passing second feeling to heavy, he didn’t want the virus to be the thing that finally caught him. He had seen what it did to people. How they would beg and scream for someone to kill them by the end. So he slid down the wall of an alleyway. He was done. He couldn’t do it anymore. He sat there counting the seconds down to when someone stumbled over him and helped him end it all for the food in his bag. He couldn’t even lift his head when he heard footsteps echoing towards him. He wanted to scream and cry when he felt tender hands against his cheek asking if he was alright instead of wringing his neck.

The compulsion to count second had stopped when he met Rin and Makoto because at least now he was some company to share the end of the world with.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

They relocate their cuddle bundle to the fire and laze around laying against a log the as they enjoy the glowing warmth as dinner simmered on the stove, they had enjoyed a long afternoon nap together, Rin and Haru curled up to Makoto’s side as they were sun dried and baked in golden sunlight that simmered and glittered on the surface of the water. Their day pretty much ends when the sun goes down, with only the flickering orange light of fire to work by. Makoto had gotten his ukulele and was softly strumming a song, Rin was humming along to accompany him.

“What’s that song?” Haru asked, his words murmured with drowsiness.

“Some top 40 song I think. I forgot the name” Rin said

“I think you should let them sing it” Haru smile’s against his skin

“Very funny” Rin says, flicking at Haru’s thigh. Haru just smiled and nuzzled into the warmth of his skin. If this was how he spent the rest of his days filled with lazy days and light touches, he really couldn’t complain too much. He could have-and had has- done a lot worse.

“Dance with me. If I can’t sing, then you have to dance with me” Rin’s smile charming and daring.

“You know I don’t dance” Haru started to protest but Rin pulls Haru up before he can even finish. Haru rolls his eyes but allows Rin to guide his arms around his neck, resting his own on Haru’s hip. They sway gently to Makoto’s song and the cracking of the fire. Rin beams when he twirls Haru, leaning him into a dip. A lot of things were uncertain about their future, but oh, how Haru never wanted this to change.

“Me and Makoto have been talking” Rin says as they continue their little dance. Haru hums.

Makoto’s strumming suddenly stops and their feet slow to a stop with it. “R-Rin you said you wouldn’t bring it up yet” he says, his eyes brimming with worry as he sets his ukulele aside.

Makoto’s hands found each other and started fiddling, not meeting Haru’s eyes. Haru knew that tell. Rin on the other hand held his gaze, something Haru couldn’t place swimming on the surface. Haru narrows his eyes

“What?”

“Just…Just promise that you’ll listen to me first,” Rin starts then stops then starts again “Don’t just freak out okay?”

“What is this about Rin?”

“Just don’t freak out” Rin is rubs his hands up and down his arms.

“Rin” Haru says his voice dipping, feeling himself getting worked up and irritated by getting treated like a child and having stuff kept from him.

“We were thinking about going into town”

“Okay…” Haru says slowly. They occasionally went into town to get supplies Haru didn’t see why they were getting so worried even though he wasn’t overly thrilled at the thought.

“No, I don’t think you understand.” Rin said “I mean we were thinking about going back to the city, back to Iwatobi, like permanently”

“What?!” Haru’s voice suddenly too loud. Rin’s hands feel hot on his arms, too hot and he takes a step away breaking the contact.

“If we get a car-”

“ _If_ we get a car.”

“If we get a car, we could get there in 2 days, 3 days max. We have enough supplies. It’d be easy.”

Haru scoffs, crossing his arms “That’s what you said about . Do you remember how that turned out? Nothing is easy now.”

“Yes, but that lead to us running into the forest which lead us to here so I’ll call it success by proxy” Rin half jokes, giving a little half laugh that just burns Haru more because Rin doesn’t see how serious this is.

“Maybe it wasn’t as affected” Makoto says, his voice quiet and almost childlike.

“You know that's not true. We’re not going to out run this”

“I know we really lucked out by finding this place-”

“Then why do you want to leave!”

“Haru, just Let him explain.” Haru felt like a dog whose collar had just been yanked.

“You’re on his side?” Haru snapped whipping around to face him. Makoto flinches and Haru forces himself not to feel guilty.

“Don’t talk to him like that. Your being stupid Haru-“ Rin said

“I’m the one being stupid?!”

“You know it’s getting harder and harder to get food. You know it’s getting colder. We can’t stay here forever.” Rin’s voice now rising to match haru’s. His voice was short and impatient like he was dealing a child throwing a tantrum which only infuriated Haru more.

“Then we’ll manage. We’ve always managed”

“What are you so scared of? You don’t know, maybe there’s something more out there”

“ _You_ don’t know, Rin! You guys didn’t see the city like I did. You never saw what I did!”

“Haru-“

“You have no idea how lucky you are” Haru’s hair falls in front of his eyes, fist at his sides, his nails digging painfully into his palm.

“What?”

“You guys never saw what people did to each other” Jealousy and protectiveness swirl in a violent storm inside of him making him feel sick. A pregnant silence falls between them. The fire cracks between him, now sharp and dangerous like a slap and the cold biting at him, a painful reminder that Rin was right, everything Rin was saying was right. But he still couldn’t do it.

Rin throws his hands up and swore “Stay here and rot then! See if I care. But I’m going, with or without you”

Haru felt himself react to the words, but swallowed those feelings and shuttered his face. “Fine. Go then, throw away everything” He says his voice low and clipped. “Makoto?” He had curled up, his big green eyes wavering at him. His eyes say it all. He wanted to leave too. Haru feels like his been ripped apart, that whatever they had built together for the last few years had just been ripped into shreds. Haru whirls around and storms off before everything threatened to flow out.

He throws himself down onto his sleeping bag and buries his face into as he curls up. He wanted to scream, he just wanted to stay. Silent tears stain his sleeping bag. He can hear Rin and Makoto talking outside, quietly so he couldn’t make out any words. He feels like his being driven to an edge, his options were to take a leap into the unknown or be left behind.

Why did Rin have to say that? Everything was going alright; they could have just stayed here, rode out winter. It felt had just been rudely wakened up from a dream only to realize he was in a nightmare.

“Haru, can I come in?” He didn’t know how long he had been lying there, counting the seconds, when he heard Makoto’s soft voice.

He buried himself in to his blanket, staring at the wall of the tent but didn’t respond. He’d lose count. It’s suddenly colder and there was a buzz as Makoto’s undoes the zip and crawls in to the tent before zipping it up again. There was ruffling of neon fabric as Makoto settles in at the foot of the sleeping bags, giving Haru his space. They sit in silence for a while, where Haru can hear Makoto is sorting out his thoughts and figuring out what to say to him

Surprisingly Haru is the one to break the silence “Where’s Rin?” his compulsion makes him say

“Don’t worry, Haru” His soft voice reassures “He’s just cooling his head”

Another silence. More seconds counted

“He didn’t mean it, you know. We would never leave you.”

Having it said to hurt, because it made it more real and because his paranoiac mind told him it was a lie. He didn’t want it to be a lie. Haru clenched his jaw, scared that it would only take one word and everything would spill out.

”Growing up in Iwatobi,” Makoto began slowly “ it felt like I was in this bubble, that it was the world and then us and that nothing bad could happen there. But then the bad did happen. Even then most people left to quickly get better hospitals. You should have seen it Haru, it was a ghost town even before the peak of the virus. But I remember sitting in my living room, with Rin, watching the news, seeing all that chaos in the streets, the buildings burning, people breaking into houses. The people dying in the streets. It felt like a TV-show, there was no way that this could actually be happening; I couldn’t even imagine how to actually live that. But you did Haru. And you did that all alone”

“why are you telling me this?” Haru said

“Do you remember how we met?” Haru nodded. How could he forget ”you were just sitting there, in that alley surrounded by garbage, dripping wet and you were so little Haru. It felt like you were just waiting for something. Either for us to kill you or save you I still can’t decide but…I never knew to be afraid of you. I just saw you there, you were so little Haru, I knew we couldn’t leave you behind.”

“I’m telling you this because you need to hear it. Hear that if it wasn’t for you we wouldn’t have made it this far. You’ve saved us countless time. But you also have to hear that you’re not alone anymore. “

“You don’t know anything” Haru says again weaker this time, a sob ripping its way out of his mouth before he can stifle it.

“Hey, hey, babe, please don’t cry” Makoto slides down behind him, an arm wrapped around him, pulling him closer into him. His finger tracing his over his knuckles, tracing patterns into his skin as to say let me in. Haru kept his hand fisted. “I know that you’re strong and kind.” Makoto whispered close to his ear, his other hand finding the short hairs on the nape of his neck. “I know you love me and Rin. I know that I love this place. And I know that it’s going to be scary. And I know it’s only going to get harder”

Haru shakes his head again “I don’t ever want you to be scared”

“Can you turn this way, please Haru” Makoto says, applying a hand on his shoulder with just enough pressure to encourage him to turn, but not enough to force him to. Slowly, he curls and turns around but doesn’t look at Makoto. He buries himself into Makoto, Haru flinches at another buzz at the tent door. His head flinches up, Makoto’s hand is in his hair, shushing him. His heart stops racing when he sees Rin standing there, his hair haloed by the fire

“Hey” he says, quietly as he joins them, sliding in behind him. Haru’s heart was being torn apart by how Makoto wrapped his arm around him and pulls him close and Rin nuzzles into the back of his neck, his hand on his waist. How safe it makes him feel. He had been slowly going crazy without them.

“I just don’t want anything to happen to you two. I don’t want to be alone again”

“But you’re not alone anymore Haru. You have me and you have Makoto, You’re only trying to protect us. You don’t have to fight alone anymore”

“I don’t want you to have to fight. I don’t want you to see what I saw. I don’t want you to be feel what I felt because it sucks. I want it to be easy for you.”

“I know. I know” Rin said gently peppering kisses on his shoulder and neck and cheek.

“You don’t have to make a decision now. You can sleep on it” Makoto said

“Let us protect you too.” Rin said before sleep took all of them. For now it would be easy.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. It's not my favourite thing I've written but it's decent? As usual constructive criticism is always welcome, tell me what you liked what you didn't etc etc 
> 
> and please forgive any error I may have missed because I suck at editing 
> 
> Completely irrelevant side note: I've finally figured out how to do that really pretty black line. I'm disproportionally proud.


End file.
